q: hey man, what’s your problem?  don’t you know that I don’t belong to you?

a: it’s hard enough to keep it up when everything is so new.

q: austin or san fran? google or facebook?

a: ask any of my friends. they all have an an opinion.

q: how did a death turn into a couples’ weekend?

a: yeah, i got nothing on that one.

q: was i more alive then than i am now?

a: i laugh more often now, i cry more often now, i am more me.

q: what are you drinking?

a: a dufrain. it’s sublime.

q: what’s the point? (ideally, this question should be asked by a bollywood star with a face full of bacon.)

a: you survived. that’s the point. (ideally, this answer should be given by a blonde mountain climber.)

q: am i alive? am i still breathing?

a: nerves normal, breath normal.

q: what is psychology?

a: the study of obvious things that aren’t obvious to you.

q: how are you?

a: better.

q: what kind of an idea are you?

a: the kind that, in spite of everything, can still transcend.

q: how do you feel about putting kittens in a woodchipper?

a: i’m against it.

q: when will this image render?

a: never. it’s a search box, not an image.

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